Creed, your teeth called, your breath stinks. Kevin, I can’t decide between a fat joke and a dumb joke. Meredith, you’ve slept with so many guys, you’re starting to look like one. Michael: Jim, you’re 6’11 and you weigh 90 pounds. When Michael returns to the office, he has a few roasts of his own: We’re stuck listening to you all day, Stanley tried to die just to get away, well it’s true. Andy (singing to the tune of “What I Like About You”): What I hate about you, you really suck as a boss, you’re the laziest, jerkiest, and you’re dumber than applesauce.(Kevin yells “How small is it?”) If it were an iPod, it would be a shuffle! And one time, I walked in on him naked, and his thing is so small. He’s supporting about 20 Nigerian princesses. Pam: Once every hour, someone is involved in an Internet scam.You don’t have any friends or any family or any land! Dwight: You pathetic, short little man.Remember spider face? ‘Cause the quote was, “cut off your nose to spider face.” Jim: Several times a day, Michael says words that are way beyond my vocabulary.You posted a picture of my bare boobs on the bulletin board with a caption that said “Gross.” Michael, you are the reason I drink. Meredith: Michael, you ran over me with your car.A turtle, a fridge, anybody from the warehouse, a wood chipper, Kevin, a candle, and Lord Voldemort. Kelly: I have made a list of people that I would make out with before I would make out with Michael Scott.If you ever called the fire department ’cause your head was stuck in your chair you might be… Michael Scott! If you ever put sunblock on a window, you might be Michael Scott. Angela: If you ever wondered whether you were Michael Scott, here’s a quiz to help.Here is what each of the characters says during the roast, and what Michael says in return. In The Office Season 5 episode Stress Relief, Michael holds a roast in his honor, thinking that it will relieve stress in the office.

Office boom roasted